Would you set off on a journey with no map or destination plugged into your GPS?
If you did, you may have a bit of an adventure, but I imagine there is a good chance of you arriving somewhere you didn’t want to be.
What would be the chances of you getting where you want to go when you haven’t decided where that is?
Setting goals is like creating a roadmap for your life, and the first part of that process is working out where you are heading for.
I would like to share with you a powerful 5-step process that not only guides you through making this roadmap, but will also get you energised and motivated to follow it!
Whether we consciously set goals or not, we do have them – We all have goals, maybe just to get through the day, for example
· Getting up
· Getting clean
· Walking the dog
· Feeding the kids
· Getting the washing done
· Whatever is on our to-do list
These goals may well get us through the days, weeks, months and years, but they don’t really take us anywhere different from where we are now.
I know this from experience, moving from one year to the next without any real thought of where I was going or where I wanted to go. I realized, at last, that going round and round on the hamster-wheel of life was not making me happy. I felt disillusioned and unfulfilled. I knew I had more to give, but I didn’t know where to start or what direction to go in. I didn’t even know where I wanted to go. If you had asked me 18 months ago, what I wanted out of life, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you. Oh, I could give you a long list describing what I didn’t want and where I didn’t want to end up, but I know now, that focusing on the stuff you don’t want, just brings you more of the same.
It was time do something different!
Digging deep and really considering what I wanted to achieve and where I wanted to go in life, did take a bit of time and effort, but was definitely worth it!
After studying many different ways and ideas for setting goals, I have come up with a 5-step process to develop goals that make you feel so excited and inspired to take action that achieving them is absolutely inevitable.
1. Get into the best head-space
When deciding you want to change part or parts of your life by working towards a goal, it’s best to start from a place of love and achievement rather than fear or duty.
Take a few minutes to sit quietly. Close your eyes and take 5 deep breaths, filling your whole body with air and gently letting it out.
Think of a time when you did something amazing, overcame a challenge, did something you didn’t think you could do. Or remember a really happy time in your life when you felt totally connected with the people you were with.
If you are struggling to think of a time, know that you will have an experience somewhere in your memory bank. Don’t give up and keep thinking. Maybe you’ve had children, got married, passed an exam, stood up and spoke your truth when you were afraid, got a promotion at work, got the job you didn’t think you could get, made an amazing meal, painted a picture. Keep searching, I can guarantee there will be something!
It may eve help to take yourself back to your one year old self and consider how you learnt to walk. Think of how many times you must have tried to walk and fell down and picked yourself back up again and fell down again. You never gave up and now you can walk!
When I first did this exercise, I really struggled, I felt that I had never really done anything outstanding. I was in a pretty low place, so my mind was just giving me more evidence that I was not good enough and would never be able to achieve anything of note.
But I persevered!
At last I uncovered a memory that filled my heart. My first son, Joel had sprung into the world 6 weeks early and was in Special Care for 2 weeks before I could take him home. There were no complications and he was healthy, but he had to learn to suck, apparently that is one of the last things that develop in the womb. I had been keen, throughout my pregnancy that I was going to breast-feed.
I had one of those electric pumps and was shown by the midwife how to use it. It did work, but the first time produced such a tiny amount! I remember looking at it, disappointed – he wasn’t going to get very fat on that! The midwife was great, however, and didn’t allow me to get discouraged, explaining that it may take a few days for the milk to come through properly and even though there wasn’t much in volume, it was full of all the vitamins and nutrients that my baby needed.
The nurses were going to mix my milk with the formula milk and feed Joel through a tube in his nose. Even though I wasn’t feeding Joel myself at that point, I used the pump every few hours, so my body would get used to it. Before long I was producing a substantial amount.
I got into a routine of expressing every 4 hours and bringing the milk into the hospital each day to give to my son. It was just over a week, and the nurse suggested that we have a go to see if Joel would latch on to me. I was a little apprehensive – I had heard many tales of people struggling with breast feeding, the baby not able to latch on or it being really painful.
The nurse showed me how to position him and, just like nature had intended, he latched on straight away and started suckling. I was so excited! I remember crying out, “He’s doing it! He’s doing it!” I was grinning at the nurse then looking at my tiny little baby. I was just filled with love and pride and complete appreciation for my amazing body.
I had found my memory! You will find one to, keep searching.
Take that memory and re-create it in your mind. Re-live each moment. Where were you? What were you wearing? Who were you with? Think of the smells and sounds as well as what you could see. Soak up the feeling of the moment, let your heart expand with the glorious emotions you are feeling. Breathe in the pride, love and power. You feel supersonic, like you can achieve anything.
Wallow the feeling as long as you are able, take some more deep breaths
When I ‘milked’ my memory (excuse the punJ) I get emotional, even writing this now has brought tears to my eyes. I can recreate it so well I can even feel tingling, stinging in my breasts, which is how it felt when the milk started to come through.
Once you have found your memory, it will then be easier to find more memories that make you feel awesome. Write them down and keep them in a journal or notebook. Add to them as you remember more or more memories are made. Next time you are feeling low or lacking in confidence, this book will act as a superb reminder of how fantastic you really are!
2. Decide where you want to go
After you have soaked up you memory and are feeling strong and powerful, next imagine it is one year from now, and the last 12 months have been the best ever. Let your mind wonder and think about where you are now. Where are you living? What are you driving? How is your health and relationships? Where did are you go on holiday? How are you making money? What is your financial situation? Think about what you have achieved and how fantastic that makes you feel.
Take some time to develop that amazing year, it was more incredible than you ever thought possible!
Take some more deep breaths and bring yourself back into the room.
Now use a notebook or your journal to free-write to describe how your life is, as if it is a year from now, what you have achieved during the 12 months and how do you feel? Write it in the present tense as if it is now.
3. Write down your goal
Next, read through your journal entry and select one part that will become your goal. Write it down. You can then repeat this part of the exercise for all the goals you want to achieve.
Writing them down is an external representation of our inner desires. Moving it from our heads onto paper forces us to articulate, and that in itself moves us a step nearer to achieving.
Now you have the goal written down, it will be useful to re-write in a way that excites and inspires.
To get the Law of Attraction working for you with this, it is essential that goals are written in the present tense, as if you have already achieved them.
Focus on what you do want rather than what you don’t and use positive language:
· Rather than say you want to lose so much weight; state what you really want in relation to your body, eg I am a size 12
· Rather than say that you don’t want to be in the same job; describe where you do want to work. eg I am in a managerial position in a large company
Use descriptive language that excites you, for example:
· I am a slim and attractive size 12. I love how my clothes feel and when I look in the mirror I feel awesome!
· I am a strong, inspiring leader of a fantastic team of people in a forward thinking, expanding business.
Also, is it useful to use the SMART acronym, where:
S = Specific – make the goal as specific as possible, by describing what the outcome looks like.
· Rather than saying you want to be fitter; describe how that will look for you, eg I can run 3 miles with ease.
· Rather than say you want to make more money; state how much you want to be earning, eg I earn £30k per year or more!
M = Measurable – how will you know that you have achieved the goal?
The examples above are quantitative, which means they can be measured by numerical means.
There may also be qualitative goals, eg to feel happier, healthier, better. If this is the goal, describe how feeling happier will look for you, eg I enjoy fun quality time with my = children by taking them out regularly and being totally present and focusing on the experience.
You could also use a number scale to ascertain how you feel now compared to how you want to feel.
A = Attainable / Achievable – do you believe this goal is achievable?
In order for a goal to be motivating, you have to believe it is possible. Stretching goals are good, but if the stretch is too much, it will be overwhelming and you are likely to give up before you start.
For example, if you want to get fitter and set a goal to run a marathon when your current fitness level leaves you out of breath climbing the stairs, chances are the mountain will feel too high, and you are unlikely to get very far.
If this is the case, it would be useful to break larger, intimidating aspirations into smaller chunks, thereby turning the mountain that looks too high to climb, into more gentle hills that you will enjoy walking up. Moving across the hills will help build momentum, motivating you to continue towards the greater goal.
R = Relevant – the goal has meaning to you.
It is essential to set goals that excite and inspire you. If your reasons for setting the goal are not that important to you, or if you are setting the goal to please someone else, achieving them will be unlikely.
It is worthwhile, at this point, digging a bit deeper and articulating why you want to achieve this goal. It is the ‘why’ that will drive you onwards when you come across obstacles and challenges.
Underneath where you have written your goal, write down as many reasons as you can think of why it is important that you achieve it.
Then write down the consequence of not achieving your goal. You don’t want to spend too long in this negative place, but it is worth poking the pain a bit for added motivation.
T = Time bound – state when you want to achieve the goal by.
Think carefully about this. The idea of putting a time limit on adds pressure, if you find the pressure motivating then that is good, if it causes you stress, that is not so good and could work against you.
I am not sure if adding a time scale is always essential, for example, if it is your goal to become a millionaire, is it so important if it happens within one year or 5? Refer back to why you are wanting to achieve your goal to work out if adding time into the equation would be beneficial or not.
It may be helpful to put a time scale in it, but be prepared to be flexible.
4. Speak your goals every day
Great, now you have some inspiring, present tense goals that excite you! Plus the reasons why achieving them is so essential and the devastating consequences of not achieving them.
Write or type your goals and ‘whys’ and pin them in view and speak them out loud every morning and evening, more if you like. This will get your sub-conscious working for you and also keeps them front of mind which will help eliminate distractions and procrastination. It will keep you consistently inspired to make little steps towards what you are wanting to achieve.
5. Review your goals regularly
As you move forward in life, it is very possible that your perspective will change as will your priorities. For this reason it is worthwhile scheduling some time each month to review your goals in detail. Check in with yourself and go through these exercises again. Using the analogy of goals as your roadmap, it is worth regularly checking your compass directions. Also your journey may have caused you to see new pathways and roads that you want to explore, or you may even decide you want to head towards a totally new destination. If this is the case, that is absolutely ok, this is your life roadmap, you can create it in any way that feels good to you. Be flexible and gentle with yourself. Everywhere you have been in your life up to now will have taught you something which will help move you forward. Enjoy creating the roadmaps, the anticipation of reaching the destination and of course, the journey itself!
If you have any comments or questions regarding this process, feel free to contact me on 07887 570600 or email at ginaloudall@outlook.com.
I would love to know how you get on.